When The Person Next to you Smells Like Garbage

When the person sitting or standing next to you smells like garbage, it’s torture. When they approach you, you just want to die. Ever needed the bathroom so bad but you had to queue up, then unfortunately someone with nasty body odour appeared behind you and made you change your mind? I have. I decided I really didn’t need to go after all. Besides, my breathing mattered way more than my bladder.


I wish people perceived the way other people perceived them, not in terms of attitude but literally, smell. Some people smell so bad you wonder how they are not bothered by it. But do they know? I guess I could do a survey of that one day, but that would entail hurting a lot of people’s feelings. ‘Hi, do you know you smell? Do you approach people on purpose? Why do you like attempting murder on people with your odour?’ Not cool. So for now, I’m going to assume.

I’m going to assume that, Nigeria is a hot place. It really is. While walking under the sun, I feel as if I am serving punishment. It makes me sweat, and in life you don’t always get the choice to sit in the blissful coolness of your AC or fan after being under the sun, nor do you get the chance to see showers e.t.c you could use nearby. So that’s what it is.

That guy that smells probably knows he smells but he also needs to use that bathroom just as much as you do. (I’m using he because haven’t you noticed most people who smell awful are guys? Or do girls smell just as much? Ew, if you do, then this applies to you) Maybe he doesn’t have power or running water at his house, so he can’t afford that shower we all need him to take.

Another important factor to note is location. A lot of the people that sweat have just been out under the sun. They’re either pedestrians, or laborers like builders or mechanics. They work outside of the usual corporate office space for hours on end.

So you’re at work typing away, thinking life is fine then before you see the source you perceive it. Hinyamma! It’s ghastly. Your nose can’t function and you scrunch up your face like you do when you see someone pick their nose… and eat it! And then you see the person, but you still give him that look of disgust, just to give him a sign to let him know that, I can smell you oga, and it is not a good smell.

Finally, what if that person has not been taught hygiene? What if he bathes only when he has access to water or what if he wears the same outfit he wore yesterday?

I guess my point is, people will smell because they either don’t know they smell, can’t afford to smell nice, or have jobs or demands that force them to smell like death.

bad breath

I don’t know what death smells like but it probably is nasty. Maybe we should all start keeping small gift baskets of deodorant (N80), and Dettol soap (N120) in our homes and offices. We could wrap it up nicely and when that plumber who smells or really cute guy you had a crush on approaches you and you discover he has halitosis (replace soap and roll on with toothbrush and tic tac) maybe you could give them that N200 gift pack and save yourself, society and civilization from Extinction Via Nose Malfunction (EVNM).

PS. If you actually know you smell and choose not to do anything about it, diarisGodoooo, d smell yua shearing, diarisGod.

Young girl holding nose
Young girl holding nose

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